Five words...

Five words that a father should never have to say..."Her chest is not moving".  Five hours ago, I said these five words, coupled with the respiration rate on the ventilator nearly being flat lined.  Stella's room filled up quickly and a lot of folks were helping her get back to doing what we all take for granted - breathing.  I've never been or felt so helpless in my life as when I am standing 3 feet from my daughter's bed knowing there is nothing I can do other than watch the team of people working to get her breathing again.

Our little girl has been doing amazingly well and has been through so much already.  Tonight she let us know loud and clear that she needs a little more time before she is ready to come off the ventilator.  She is back on ventilator support (about 2/3 of the level of her max support) and her stats have improved steadily throughout the night.  Based on her de-saturation, low grade fever (that came out of nowhere) and her upward trending white cell count, they also think that she may have ventilator acquired pneumonia and proactively started her on antibiotics while the cultures get tested to be safe.

Our little girl is a fighter and we know that she will continue to take baby steps forward and will soon be back to where she was a few hours ago.  Stella is our miracle baby in so many ways and we can't wait to take her home.  But, for now, we just have to have faith, stay the course and try to be the best parents and advocates we can be, for all three of our blessings.

Kate and I continue to be thankful for the out pouring of support and prayers that we have received.  We wish you all a Merry Christmas.